You’ve been in therapy for weeks now, and you still feel stuck. It’s frustrating and confusing. Everyone says therapy is the answer, but why aren’t you feeling better already? Here’s the hard truth: you’re not supposed to feel better right away.
Many people expect therapy to bring immediate relief, especially in the early sessions. They think that talking about their problems will quickly make them feel better. But the reality is that therapy often involves confronting deep emotions, trauma, and difficult patterns of thinking, which can initially make someone feel worse before things start to improve. This discomfort is part of the healing process.
Emotional Work Before Emotional Relief:
Healing isn’t linear, and progress isn’t always visible right away. In fact, it’s often necessary to feel some pain and discomfort as you start to address issues that have been buried for a long time. The “feeling worse” is actually a sign of deep emotional work being done — you’re breaking down old patterns to make room for growth.
The Myth of Instant Healing
Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all magic pill. It’s more like learning to play an instrument than receiving a prescription. Imagine thinking you’ll master the piano after just a few lessons. the discomfort you feel in therapy? It’s actually a sign that real healing is happening.
Therapy works in layers — slow, steady, and often uncomfortable — much like the painstaking process of learning to play a difficult piece of music. You don’t become Mozart overnight, and neither does your mental health get fixed in a handful of sessions.
Why Unrealistic Expectations Lead to Therapy Dropouts
The most shocking part? You’re not alone. A staggering number of people drop out of therapy before they can see results. Research shows that nearly 50% of people quit therapy after just a few sessions. Why? Because they expect fast, dramatic change. When that doesn’t happen, frustration sets in, and many people think, “Well, therapy doesn’t work for me,” or “Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
The truth is, that these unrealistic expectations are setting you up for failure. You walk into therapy expecting to feel better immediately, but therapy is a process. If you bail out early, you’ll miss out on the real breakthroughs that come with time.
Expectation vs. Reality: The Slow Road to Healing
Here’s the thing: therapy is a journey, not a quick fix. It’s normal to feel a little worse before you feel better. The discomfort you feel in therapy? It’s actually a sign that real healing is happening. In fact, when you start peeling back the layers of trauma, old wounds, and bad habits, it might feel like you’re digging a hole deeper and deeper. But trust me, that’s part of the process. You’ve got to remove the rubble before you can start building something better.
So, how do you manage your expectations?
Set Clear Goals: Don’t expect therapy to work like a magic wand. Instead, work with your therapist to set small, realistic goals. For example, “My goal for the next month is to understand my triggers for anxiety.” This gives you something tangible to work toward instead of waiting for an instant cure.
Track Your Progress: Keep a journal. Track your moods, emotions, and any insights you’ve gained in therapy. Sometimes, the progress is subtle — small shifts in thinking or behavior that aren’t immediately obvious. Writing them down can help you see how far you’ve come, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Trust the Process
The road may feel slow, and at times, it may even feel like you’re going in circles. But don’t quit just because the pace is frustrating. Real healing takes time, and that time is worth it. If you stick with it, the layers of your past trauma, emotional patterns, and unhelpful behaviors will eventually peel away. It’s the only way to build a solid foundation for long-term mental wellness.
But if you commit to the process, you’ll eventually find that the slow, steady work is what will lead you to lasting peace.
The best part? It will be worth it. Trust me.
Sue Morrison
REGISTERED PSYCHOTHERAPIST q,
CERTIFIED ADDICTION COUNSELLOR
White Brick Therapy
289.207.0554
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